Introducing Aden

Today, I’m introducing you to Aden, and if there’s one thing you need to know about Aden… he’s a bit of a dickhead.

 

He can be an absolute pain, he can turn up when you least expect him (and least want him to be there) and he can try to ruin fun or important things for you.

 

Aden, is my Adenomyosis.

 

Recently I discovered a popular technique called ‘naming’, where you give a name to your inner critic; that voice in your head that says mean things to you or is overprotective, sometimes for seemingly no reason. The idea is that by naming it, it makes it less part of you and who you are and you can challenge what it is saying.

 

Well, if you can name an inner voice, you can name a chronic condition. Right?

If you have your own health problems, then you probably know about the guilt. It can happen when have a flare up and need to cancel plans, or when you have to say no to doing something because you know you’ll only suffer later, or not be able to do it at all. And the worst part is, we normally want to be able to say yes, to carry on as normal, to do everything we want to do. And then even worse is having to let down the care about. That’s when the guilt comes. 

The guilt is that feeling of wanting to say yes, but having to say no, to let down others and yourself, because of something completely out of your control. It’s not personal, it’s medical, but it feels like I have personally done it and the guilt is immense.

 

So, if you can depersonalise  inner critic to make it less of a part of you, I’m going to depersonalise my Adenomyosis.

 

In comes Aden.

 

“Aden is troubling my brain today”

”Aden is being a pain in my side right now”

”Aden is making me cancel, sorry”

”Aden kept me awake all night last night”

”Aden is being a right dickhead, I don’t think I can do much right now”

 

Another benefit of this technique, is that it has allowed me to let in the people around me more. Telling them what is going on for me, so they can understand, but without feeling like I’m constantly talking about my health. It can get tiring to have to explain that I’m in pain, fatigued, having brain fog, etc. every single time. But this technique allows me to talk about it in a more lighthearted way and it doesn’t feel as draining.

 

I didn’t know if this would work for me, I couldn’t predict how much this has helped my mental well-being and acceptance of my condition. I’m now trying to come up with a suitable name for my fibromyalgia as well, so my loved ones see the differentiation between my conditions and help them understand more too.

 

But for now, here is Aden. Aden is a dickhead.