8 Years of Pain

So I’m nearing the 8 year anniversary of my first complaint of pelvic pain to my GP. And you may think that I’m fine now and it’s all sorted, but unfortunately that is not the case. 

If you’ve been in the same situation (which if you are a woman or person with a uterus, it’s more than likely), then you will probably have heard these phrases too:

’It’s normal’

’It’s probably stress/diet/weight’

’There is nothing else I can offer you’

’Maybe you’re just extra sensitive to the pain’

Well, it is rarely normal, that’s an excuse, there is always a referral/test/scan they could do, and even if you are extra sensitive that doesn’t mean you should have to put up with it!

No one should have to live in pain. But for me and thousands of women and people with uterus’s it seems like a given, something we should just deal with, a fact of life.

It’s a disgrace that we have been ignored, dismissed, and treated with a complete lack of respect and dignity for this long. Forced to continue with our lives and work as if nothing is wrong, whilst knowing something is wrong, and treated as though we are crazy.

 

If you haven’t been following my journey, I began complaining of pelvic pain that got more and more severe over the past 8 years. I was told it was nothing, that it was normal, that maybe my fibromyalgia made me more sensitive to pain. I told them how it was negatively affecting my quality of life, that I’d given up employment so that I could work for myself and manage my pain, that it was destroying my mental health and my relationships. Nothing.

 

It got to the point where I sat in that GPs office and refused to leave until he did something. Finally, something worked. 

Finally, I was referred to gynaecology. I had a 12 month wait until my first consultation, and with a guarantee that I was too young to have this destroy my life and that it was not in my head at all, I got put on a waiting list for laparoscopy surgery straight away and booked in for an MRI in the mean time. 

Finally I didn’t feel crazy, but I still had no idea what was wrong or how to fix it.

Although I was told that an MRI wouldn’t probably show anything, I pushed for it anyway. I wanted to make sure that there wasn’t something else going on that could be helped sooner whilst I was waiting for surgery. (Laproscopy surgery waiting times were 9-12 months, an MRI waiting time was 2-3 months with a further 4-5 weeks for results.)

I’m so glad I did.

 

Coming out of my MRI results consultation I had so many emotions; joy, validation, sadness, anger, frustration, hope.

 

They found something on the scan. I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t sensitive, I wasn’t making any of it up. I had Adenomyosis. One of the most painful women’s health conditions. 

Finally, validation.

 

But also, what the fuck?! How had this been missed? Why did I have to push for an MRI? Why was this never suggested as a possible diagnosis before? Why was I forced to be in this much pain for years before it was seemingly picked up by accident?

I deserve better. Women, and anyone with a uterus deserves better. This. Is. Not. Good. Enough.

 

So why am I sharing this with you? Knowledge is power. The more this topic is taboo, the less shared knowledge we have. The less knowledge, the less we can advocate for ourselves. We need to stick together and demand better for ourselves and each other. 

If you have pain, don’t think it’s nothing. Pain is your body trying to tell you something is not right, and we need to listen to it even if no one else will. Go to the doctor, demand to be listened to, go armed with research and having tracked your symptoms, don’t give them a reason to send you away. And if all else fails, refuse to leave until they do something.

 

You deserve a wonderful, full life. You deserve a life not dictated by pain. You deserve to wake up everyday feeling great about what is to come.